


For In Our Great Sorrow We Learn What Joy Means

by imustspeakmyheart



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, its a bit sad but i promise theres good pay-off, just so so sweet, very tender dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 06:11:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15212909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imustspeakmyheart/pseuds/imustspeakmyheart
Summary: “Teach me a dance, any dance, your brother must have shown you at some point. You talk so fondly of watching him dance, please Juno. Humour me. Humour yourself."“Okay. Okay, uh. Have you ever heard of a Venusian Waltz?”---------It's the anniversary of Ben's death, Peter is supposed to be off-world and the cases he's working on prove to not be distracting enough for Juno. Luckily Peter has a plan in mind; Juno is going to teach him how to dance, if Juno will let himself.





	For In Our Great Sorrow We Learn What Joy Means

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the Juno Steel Fluffweek prompt Comfort, I hope you all enjoy reading!! 
> 
> Title from Sorrow by Sleeping at Last

Juno walked up the street towards his apartment with his hands shoved deep in his pockets and a mood sour enough to make other people out in the street actively avoid him. Good thing that they did; Juno felt like the next person to look at him even slightly wrong would end up getting punched. It was usual for Juno to be angry on this particular day, probably because he spent the rest of the year in desperate daily scramble to _not_ think about his brother’s death. Repression is a handy coping skill until running away from the problem stops being an option. Pushing down the fact of Ben’s death on the day of his actual death was too vile, too unimaginable, even for Juno. So he spent a whole day dwelling on just that.

Only usually he made sure to swamp it with cases, with chores, responsibilities, things to distract from the chorus of voices in his mind reminding him of what this day represented. Just because he stopped blaming himself for Ben’s death years ago, didn’t mean it was any easier to deal with. Today, however, had been miraculously devoid of cases to solve or leads to follow up on. Rita had dismissed him not four hours into his workday. “I’ve got it all sorted nicely, Mistah Steel. Really not much for you to do around here, except paperwork I guess but are you really looking for that? Didn’t think so. Why don’t you take the afternoon off, huh?” She’d been right, of course. He wasn’t super excited about doing paperwork all day; while absolutely mind-numbing, it didn’t do much to distract him.

He’d tried to find something, anything, for him to do but, growing increasingly frustrated, he’d just given up eventually. So that’s where he was now, trekking back to his shitty apartment where he’d be forced to stew in his sadness by himself because of course it so happened that Peter had planned to be away from Mars that whole month. The only saving grace Juno felt right then was that at least he was too annoyed to actively feel upset about Ben yet.

When he finally got to his building it was barely late afternoon. Juno shouldered the door to his complex open and stomped up the stairs like they’d personally offended him. Honestly, right then they _were_ doing just that. With his usual flashfire temper elevated to a bonfire it didn’t take much to feed the flames.

Juno unlocked his apartment, ready to throw his jacket on the hanger and collapse on the couch right after. Instead, he noticed that the lights were already on and Peter Nureyev was sitting on one of the arms of the couch wearing a suit, wine glass in hand and legs delicately folded into the picture of practiced nonchalance. Juno’s eyes naturally lingered on Nureyev for a few moments, but when his eyes slid away and noticed the state of his apartment… All Juno’s furniture was shoved out of its usual position to leave a sizable space in the middle of it.

“What the hell, Peter.” Juno grimaced and shifted his attention back to the very attractive, very smug thief sitting on his couch. Underneath the confusion and the steady grief that was settled inside of him, Juno felt a slow blooming warmth flood him simply at the sight of Peter. All his annoyance was almost forgotten then, in that moment. Almost.

Peter only smiled that fox’s smile of his and languidly got up from his seated position, picking up another wine glass from a table that had been moved to stand next to the couch. As Juno kept staring at him, expecting an answer, Peter handed him the glass and stepped closer to him.

“Why, my darling, that’s no way to welcome your partner who has just spent 24 hours on a crowded interstellar space shuttle _just_ to prepare a little surprise for you.” Peter cocked his eyebrow and waited for Juno’s response, punctuating the end of his sentence by taking a slow sip of his wine.

“It is a way to welcome someone who fucked up my whole apartment, but hey what do I know.” Juno responded a bit petulantly. It wasn’t as if they couldn’t easily put his scant furniture back in their rightful places, but Juno was tired and not in the mood for any of Peter’s spontaneous flights of fancy. Not today, not when all he wanted to do was crawl in his bed and sleep away the guilt and sadness that still ate away at him on that particular day. With a small irritated shake of his head, Juno moved to put the wine glass down, putting some distance between him and Peter and subsequently turning his back to him.

“Look, today is just not the day to be doing shit like this, can we just put everything back where it was and go to sleep, I just wanna sleep this off and move on.”

“We certainly _could_ do that, Juno, but I thought--” Juno felt Peter’s hand slide over his right shoulder with the intention of making him turn back towards him.

“You thought what, Peter? That we’d just have a nice night doing whatever it is that you planned? That I could just forget what today means? Fuck, Peter, do you even know what day it is today?” Turning around, Juno harshly shrugged off Peter’s hand. Tears were pricking at his eyes and he fought with himself to keep from letting them spill. In front of him, Peter had a sad sort of frown on his face, his hand still reached into the space where it had been shrugged off of Juno’s shoulder. Slowly, he lowered his hand and put it in his pocket instead.

“Of course I know what today means, dear. Which is why I thought,” Peter paused, waiting to see if he’d get interrupted again. When Juno gave a stiff nod, he continued. “I thought that you might teach me a dance.”

Juno sucked his lower lip between his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, feeling some tears find their way onto his cheeks. Looking at Peter, his genuine, hopeful face, Juno couldn’t find it in him anymore to be angry. He just wanted his bed back in its place and to sleep with Peter holding him close.

“Peter, I--,” He breathed a shuddering breath “I can’t think about dancing. Not tonight. Not the time.” With all the fight drained out of him, Juno couldn’t help but move towards Peter again, endlessly pulled in by his gravity. Without thinking about it, the whole movement as effortless as breathing, Peter met him halfway. Juno placed a hand on Peter’s waist and leaned on his tip-toes to give Peter a quick peck on his lips. He’d intended to give his lover the proper welcome that he hadn’t given due to the shock of, well, everything that had happened since he came home, but Peter leaned his face away from any further kissing he tried to initiate. Instead, the thief took his hands out of his pockets and reached up to frame Juno’s face, using his thumbs to wipe at the tender skin below his eyes that was moist with the few tears that had escaped him during their little fight.

“My darling, I’m going to need you to hear me out, all right?” The honest entreaty in Peter’s eyes was all that kept Juno from snarking like he usually might. When Peter was satisfied that he wasn’t going to be interrupted, he continued.

“I simply think you might give it a chance to do something, well, fun today. Rather than the usual self-flagellation you insist on-- now, Juno, don’t give me that look. I know full well what grief is, but don’t you think maybe we can try to do something to celebrate your brother’s life rather than mourn his death? You’ve done your fair share of mourning, I can only imagine. You’ve done your due. I think it’s time, don’t you?

“Teach me a dance, any dance, your brother must have shown you at some point. You talk so fondly of watching him dance, please Juno. Humour me. Humour yourself.”

There was a long moment of silence, of Peter just cradling Juno’s face as Juno tried not to get too choked up on the love that he could so clearly see in those tender eyes that were looking at him. Then, softly:

“Okay. Okay, uh. Have you ever heard of a Venusian Waltz?”

At the answering shake of Peter’s head, Juno hummed and extricated himself from Peter’s hold on him, shrugging off his coat that he’d never taken off. He threw it over couch and out of the way before joining Peter again who’d been waiting with a small smile on his face, obviously glad his plan to get Juno to dance was working.

“All right, my dearest detective. Venusian Waltz you said?” Peter smiled and took his comms out of one his pockets, music flooding the room moments after. Then he raised up his arms, ready to have them directed wherever the dance required them to be. Juno huffed out a breath. He could do this, he had to remind himself. For Ben.

So he stepped close to this impossible thief of his and pulled one of his arms to rest around his middle, taking the other hand in his own delicately. It didn’t escape him what a ridiculous figure they probably cut together, dancing ballroom with one person dressed for the occasion and the other dressed in hand me down casual wear. Ben would have laughed at them, Juno was sure. Hell, he couldn’t help but chuckle himself when he caught a glimpse of them in his mirror, stumbling through Juno’s shitty living room with his furniture piled into one corner.

“Peter, if you don’t relax and let me lead, this isn’t going to end well.” Turned out it was an ordeal to teach someone to dance when their natural instinct was to take the lead in any aspect of their life. Including ballroom lessons, evidently.

“If you make a comment about me being a lady, this whole lesson is over, you hear me? We’re not on earth in, what? When was the last time people were still dicks about that kinda stuff, I should let Rita look that up actually.” And Juno was gearing up to say more, but Peter’s ringing laughter distracted him.

“All right, All right, I’m a terrible student, I get it. I’m sorry, lead the way my lady.”

They spent hours like that; Juno attempting to teach, Peter being an incorrigible tease while also being a quick learner. All the stupid mistakes he kept making were likely just for the benefit of Juno, to make him laugh or to make him pout so Peter could lean down to kiss the pout away.

Eventually it was evening and their hands had dropped from the formal position the dance required to just hanging slack next to their bodies, fingers still entwined but because they simply could not imagine letting go, not because the dance demanded it. Juno’s forehead was pressed against Peter’s shoulder as the shuffled around the room slowly, tired but not willing to end the day yet. He could feel Peter’s breath stir his hair, listening intently as they’d been talking in soft tones, the universe comprised of nothing but that apartment on Mars and their entwined hands.

“Just. I think Ben would be happy to see I still remember this dance enough to actually teach someone else. My boyfriend no less. Say something like ‘nice catch, Super Steel’ and then have this stupid grin on his face that meant he was going to grill me about it mercilessly once we’d be alone together.” Juno huffed out a laugh, nosing at Peter’s shoulder.

“I’m glad to know your brother would find me a catch.” His tone was joking, but Juno could tell Peter was genuinely moved by that idea. And the more Juno thought about it, unburdened by the crippling grief that usually come with such thoughts, Peter and Ben would have really hit it off. He felt the sadness of that in his chest, that sadness that comes with missed opportunities and things that could never be. But, most remarkably, it also came with the inkblot spread of warmth that mingled with that sadness, creating a feeling Juno wasn’t entirely familiar with.

He thought maybe it meant something like love, like family. Like Ben was there with them right now, having taught Peter the Venusian Waltz through Juno like he otherwise might have done himself on another special occasion. Ben had always said this Waltz was a staple at weddings, Juno remembered he’d always insisted on teaching him this Waltz. Juno never thought he might need it until a certain thief had asked him for a dance. And that was a thought he’d keep to himself, for now.

“Of course he would. You make me happy, that would have been reason enough for Ben to like you. That, and you’re both insufferable smug teases. Fast friends, I’m sure.”

Juno felt Peter take in a breath, elated and content. The hand he held in his own squeezed just a little tighter and the arm around his middle snaked just a little closer. Peter’s lips pressed against Juno’s crown and the smile there made warmth well up in Juno’s chest. The music played on uninterrupted in the background, their bodies swaying effortlessly to the changing tunes of different songs.

“I would have loved to have met him, Juno.” And this time Peter’s voice was dead-serious; Juno could even hear a slight choked-up quality in his words, a small stumble that gave him away. He wouldn’t point it out if Peter would ignore the tears that had undoubtedly soaked through his dress-shirt by now.

“Yeah.” Juno said, through tears and grief and love all welling up. “Yeah..” And he hoped Peter knew that a ‘thank you’ was somewhere in there.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading <3 I'd appreciate kudos and comments if you want to leave any! I don't answer comments but know that I read every single one and probably cry at them all too.  
> You can find me on tumblr at imustspeakmyheart


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